"We do nothing for a few days. We deserve at least that, what with the unspeakable psychological damage to Demetri’s fragile Southern lady constitution. The first day, I fix that bloody well in his jaw. The second day, it rots, and I spend hours trying to jam my fist into his mouth so I can rip it out again. It’s just a molar. Who needs those?"
- E
phuckindope:

Me.

phuckindope:

Me.

gaydirectioner:

When I’m listening to Beyoncé in my car and one of my friends tells me to change it

image

pleatedjeans:

via

pleatedjeans:

via

Posted on October/12/2014 with 4,274 notes
Reblog this

Tagged as:pop,
"If I don’t go to Hell because of my broken moral compass, lack of remorse for taking advantage of the vulnerable and hopeful, and/or blasphemous hypocrisy…it is because I hate puppies."
- Demetri
twirlingtroye:

sneak peak at Iggy Azalea’s new video

twirlingtroye:

sneak peak at Iggy Azalea’s new video

Posted on October/8/2014 with 120,432 notes
Reblog this

Tagged as:pop,

neptunain:

what if you tried to call off of work and you are just like “im sick today” and your boss was like “i know dude you’re one of the sickest bros here” and you were like “no i mean it im ill” and your boss says “yeah you the illest” 

Posted on October/3/2014 with 305,697 notes
Reblog this

Tagged as:hell,
"

Look at this guy praying for a bountiful harvest! If you hold off on this one, you could create artificial (organic?) inflation. Supply and demand. A small famine threat never hurt anyone, right? Denied!” I tap a finger on the surface of the portal to condemn the poor farmer’s crop. Suddenly, the field catches on fire where I touched the screen. “AUGH-…”

"That’s alright. Wrong button." One pats my back to console. "Worse things have happened. The crusades started as an accident, and ended up a running gag."

"The eleventh is my turn!"

"Haha, you’re on!" They highfive.

"Wait- can’t you put it out?!" I spaz, as the only one watching the fire spread.

"We can. Next!

"