santanist:

tripped and fell in my heelys jesus take the wheelys

theonion:

HR Sends Out Reminder Email About Not Scrawling ‘Revenge’ In Blood In Conference Room

theonion:

HR Sends Out Reminder Email About Not Scrawling ‘Revenge’ In Blood In Conference Room

"Just like I promised, we’re at the center of the labyrinth. This is gonna be my ticket out of here. I even scribed my own message on the stone wall, ‘Deme 2013.’ I’m not creative when starved for three days while negotiating with a bloodthirsty, yet hopeful minotaur to not to nibble on my non-vital parts. Shoot me."
- Demetri
"I swat away Demetri’s hand and try to channel you’re a huge inverted asshole from the lines on my forehead. It doesn’t work. He keeps talking."
- E
blameaspartame:

everyone’s a critic

blameaspartame:

everyone’s a critic

Posted on August/21/2014 with 47 notes
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